Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize