Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
