I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
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my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize