I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
