I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
