We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize