that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
