So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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