Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.