i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize