im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
