operation have a gay friend backfired
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
