if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i can juggle bunnies
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.