this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
