You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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