quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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