I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
