she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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