I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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