A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
