we have pet lesbian snakes
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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