Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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