Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
