Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.