do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.