I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins