Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?