Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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