I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
