i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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