My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.