i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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