I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
