If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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