idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
