i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.