So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened