i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?