I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize