Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize