It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize