first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize