he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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