Soap is not a condiment
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
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I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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