I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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