he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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