i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
