your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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