Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
