I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
