my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
