Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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