His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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