trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize