so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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